Is this really hard to recover? I did ask myself everyday. My answer is always NO. But the ridiculous fact is why am i still always emo? I have no answer for myself about this. Recently, I found out the reason. The reason is really SIMPLE. I just afraid of one thing which is LONELY. Or another word? ALONE.
Every friends tell me that, no boyfriend nevermind, you still got tons of friends, what to worry? In fact, that is true, I have a lot of friends, but how much of them care about my life? Some of my friends are overseas, some of them busying with their academic, and most of them around me having partner which i knew i cannot disturb them.
At last I dont even have a friend to talk when i need a pair of ears. I do not have a warm shoulder to tear. I didnt blame anyone because I know that this is my own life that i need to pass through myself. Everyone have their own life, I have no right to disturb other people life to comfort my own feeling, i knew that.
The only issue that i blamed is DONT EVEN TELL ME YOU WANNA HELP ME TO PASS THROUGH IF YOU DIDNT MEAN THAT! Dont just simply say, I dont need any promises. I just believe in action. This is what made me heart broken. I do not need your comfort if you doesn't mean that.
Is time to let go, even I am not willing to do that. Letting go is the only way to release myself.
放手 是心理上的放手 万分的不舍 哭不尽的眼泪 我不想放手啊
In physically, I still need some time to remove all the things from my hand. Maybe one week, one month, one year? I dont know..
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